Saturday, August 23, 2008

kalau budak Convent tak alim la ye?

pagi tadi atau lebih tepat siang tadi atau lebih lebih tepat lagi, selepas rakan2 lelaki aku balik dari solat jumaat.

A1: tadi kat masjid ada ja org pompuan g semayang jumaat.

aku: uik? boleh meh? aku taktau pun.depa p semayang apa? zohor la ye?

A1: taktau la aku.tp mmg ada ustaz ckp boleh pun pompuan p semayang jumaat tp tak digalakkan.

A2: a'aa.btul2.dlu ada belajar mase form 3.

aku: huh? ye meh? apsal aku tak penah tau pn.

A2: ade laaa aku rase belajar mase form 3. ko tak belajar ke?

A1: alaaa. die dulu kan sekolah convent.

lalu aku sentap di situ.
aku: why? kalo sekolah convent je tak tau agama la ye?

diskusi:

aku tau ramai yang stereotype budak2 convent tak alim. bukan sume tak alim. kalau pun kami tak alim tapi tak semestinya lupa agama terus. aku tak tahu di mana tahap ketahanan iman aku. tapi aku memang bukanlah sebaik2 umat buat masa sekarang untuk mengaku aku alim. aku masih mudah terpengaruh dengan rakan dan persekitaran. tapi aku ada kesedaran dan aku tak hipokrit. bagi aku itu lagi penting. at least aku tahu batas-batas aku and i'm clear with what should i do.

soal agama jangan dihakimi. takde sape yang layak untuk letak judgement ke atas seseorang. setuju? aku angkat tangan sampai lenguh ketiak sebab aku setuju. point taken. =D

owh yeaaa. point2 yang berikutnya ini aku tambah hasil dari perbincangan bersama rakan2 convent tercinta aku.

kawan aku seorang bakal tukang cabut and korek gigi yang kini berada di bumi alim USM kelantan berkata:

"kalau selisih dengan budak tudung labuh n kalo kita senyum diorang bukan senyum balik. tapi balas dengan pandangan menghukum. mb sbb dressing. ber'jeans' ketat. tapi apsal lak. hina sangat ke aku?"

"tapi bukan suma budak convent tak alim. ada ja yang pas sekolah now dah pakai tudung labuh.tapi tak kawan dah la ngn kwn2 lama yang masih bertudung singkat dan jarang".

kawan aku yang seorang bakal pakai stethoscope dan meronda2 keliling ward berkata:

"kakak and adik aku pun convent cam kita gak. tapi now they're covering their hair. tu over generalized la kalau asyik address budak convent"

diskusi:

take note take note. tak semua budak convent tak alim. ada jugak yang bertudung labuh sejak di sekolah atau selepas meninggalkan convent. tapi kalo pun bertudung labuh tak semestinya alim. define alim. aku tak tau nk define tapi aku faham. tak semestinya kau cover semua aurat maka kau alim. orang alim takkan memberi pandangan menghukum kepada mereka yang kelihatan tidak alim. that's why aku tak pernah ada fahaman bahawa bertudung labuh itu alim. bagi aku, even kau bertudung labuh atau pendek tapi kau bertudung pun belum tentu kau alim. dan kalau pakai menjolok mata dan sanubari sekalipun belum tentu kau tak alim dan berhati busuk. mungkin orang yang daring itu lebih tahu dan faham agama dari yang berpurdah. contoh dalam novel Ayat-ayat Cinta. Maria yang bukan islam dan tidak bertudung lebih memahami islam lebih dari segelintir hamba Allah yang lain. lalu aku simpulkan di sini. alim atau tidak seseorang bukan terletak dari sekolah mana asalnya. buruk baik seseorang bukan terletak dari pemakaiannya. tapi semuanya itu dari hati. budak sekolah convent atau mana2 sekolah pengaruh kristian yang lain bukan tidak ada subject religious study di sekolah. syllabus sume same. takdenye kitorang belajar lain. so jangan la salah faham. aku rasa zaman sekarang patutnya tidak ada lagi fahaman songsang begitu.

aku sendiri banyak kekurangan dan perlu perbaiki diri. mungkin sekarang, mungkin nanti. aku tiada jawapan. tapi bukanlah sebab sekolah asal aku maka aku begini. tapi sebab aku sendiri.

adios =)


Friday, August 22, 2008

homesick

dear diary...

i'm all messed up. i haven't started anything for my assignment. i even haven't read the question and it's due on this coming Friday. more or less it's in another week time.

i miss my family so heartedly. and my friends too.

it can best be considered that i call back home almost everyday. ooooooooppsss. not anymore. maybe because my sis always shows online on YM. so i always got to webcam with my dear family. and most importantly, i got to see Rizq live on screen doing his singing and dancing.

my second bro got back home last night after his long working period in Japan. kitorang webcam this morning and he seemed to get slimmer. i mean not in a healthy way because he had never before this got into a big plus size so now he is thin. i think it might be due to his excessive workload in Japan. u know... orang Jepun kan gile keje. that's why he didn't even had a single chance to get online with me. basically we've been lost in contact since he went to Japan last February. glad that he's now back at home. and my other family members are all doing good in piece and for sure, i miss them all.

not to forget my dear friends who're far from me. btw, i have friends from 4 different circles according to the places of study that i went.

yesterday i called Diana, my ex Convent-ian. glad to hear that she's getting closer with that guy. owhhh Diana. u better get into a serious relationship as fast as u can so that i can b the only single girl in our clan. so that i'll get to be a maid of honour for u and Majiah. and yeaaa. if i called Diana i should have called Majiah too. so i did. actually i contact both of them almost every now n then in YM but yesterday i was just finishing my phone credit.

and Asyi called me yesterday and updated me with her story and so did Amnah. even though we get to see and chat everyday in YM. saje gedik nk jugak call. hehe.

and yeaaa. not to forget. i miss Firus as well. but i couldn't get through her. babe. i don't have ur contact num in msia since u're just there for a couple of weeks. so i'll wait for u to pop up in YM k =)

yeaaaa. i miss Nab too!!! she just got through me last two days informing her failure in baking cheesecake. hahaha. pity u Nab! i'll call u tonight but i'm afraid to disturb u with ur two sisters who just got back from Ireland. u must be spending ur momentaneous days with them right? good on ya that u're not lonely anymore =)

owh yeaaaa. Fahizha si tunang abg sayang. i miss u too. but afraid to call coz i know u're busy with exams.

and to my Saina girls (Awe, Amar, Syima n Airsah). i called all of you last month and now my credit is about to reach its zero so after i reload okay??

my cats!!! i only got to see Encik Poppy who is now like a pump balloon. and Encik Pinky, asyik lari je so tak webcam dah lama.

miss u all. muaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssss

Thursday, August 21, 2008

when words split out meaning might be misinterpreted

are u afraid of misconception?

i do.

because i'm not good in putting things into words. sometimes, what i really feel inside is not best expressed.

i might say something which might be hurtful. honestly, i didn't mean it and it wasn't u that i was addressing it for.

u misunderstood it and it wasn't my intention.

for that, i'm sorry...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

sentap

to start off the day, i woke up at 5.18am. actually i didn't set the alarm to wake up for subuh, but i automatically woke up due to excessive thirst i had. but it was already fajr so i couldn't drink anything because i was fasting. so i performed my solat, updated another drama and slept. again until 9am. then i rushed myself to class -------> exaggerating. ambil nota ambil nota. aku lepak2 je pun nk pegi clas. xdenye nk kalut2. hehe =p


hurmmmm. actually i was quite "sentap" just now. i mean this morning. i suggested an idea @ invitation for someone to accompany me in looking for my shoe's padding. but that someone might not really aware with what i said as i was being playful at that moment. so that someone had that someone own plan. but i didn't put the blame on that someone as i know, if i really want that someone to be there i should have made it clear. but still. i sentap for being imperceptive. hurmmm... lately i've been thinking and considering about so many things which eventually, mental block was the result. sometimes i wonder. why do Allah makes it hard for me? kekurangan amal? yeaa aku mengaku. but i can just say that... if that's really what meant for me, make it easy and lead me the way. aminnn.. hehe =)

so today i cooked a lot. when i said a lot i really meant it. ida came by for a sleepover and she asked me to make her "puding caramel". so i made it for her. with her help of course. idak aku ketuk2 gak kot kalo x tolong. hehe. then i cooked "mee goreng mamak". jadila jugakkk. first try. hehe. and i cooked some cucur ikan bilis. and goreng keropok ikan yg ida bawak. goreng bersama tuan keropok. satu bekas besar okes kitorang goreng. gile over. tu tak masuk lg ngn mknn sufi masak. spring roll and beef curry. melampau2 kan kitorang nk berbuka? puase ganti je punnn. well. my appetite rebels when i'm fasting. huhu =p



okes that's all. if aku pose lagi esok, aku plan nk buat ketayap pulak. tau x ape tu? dun u ever imagine ketayap yg guys pakai atas kepala diorang bile nk g msjid plak. ni ketayap kuih malay traditional yg kaler hijau gulung2 tu. still x leh imagine? xpela. esok aku buat aku tayang2 kasi korang salivate k?

okes adios muchocos =)

getting busier

my life is getting busier as the classes are now held on monday, tuesday n wednesday. huaaa!!!! no more cuti2 Australia. and the assignments are on their row waiting to be started. ambik nota ambik nota. mereka tunggu untuk dimulakan. maksudnya? yeaaaaa. i haven't started on anything. seperti biasa seperti selalu seperti sediakala, aku malas. yeaaa. malas malas malas.

i woke up early in d morning just utk solat n nak tido balik. yea yeaaa i tau x baik tido balik. tapi nak jugak. ngantukkk. karang ade clas at 11am. ok. ok. babai.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............................