Saturday, May 24, 2008

self realization equals to zero

what happen if your self realization equals to zero? as in my case, my self realization is always hopeless. i should be moving my fingers and type thousands and millions words for all my five assignments. however, instead of working on those killing stuffs, i'm typing this. but this is not the worst, u should know the rest of my activities for the day to get the most accurate measurement of my self realization level. here is the list of what happen when Fathiah x sedar diri:

- i got up quite late from bed which was around 9am.
- i was supposed to finish up to 5th lesson plan for my mathematics' assignment. however i only managed to finish until 4th lesson plan.
- i should start working on my slides for presentation by now but i haven't done anything. nothing for my presentation. i'm still not sure whether i will just pursue with the topic chosen earlier, or change to other thing else. i haven't decided on any quotations or references to be placed in my presentation. all in all, nothing has been done for this presentation. luckily i've changed my presentation time which supposed to be on this monday to thursday. nsb baik la ade insan rajin yg nk tukar ngn aku. haha.
- i should have saved my money as the financial degradation is producing the sound beep beep beep.... but i wasted my pennies on unnecessary things like 5aud only for junk food and 10aud only for chicken laksa. i should cook ok cook!!! but i didn't.
- i should start wearing my winter coats but i'm still loyal with my jumpers. like how i wore just now walking to "Little Malaysia" to have dinner with Sufi n Ida. I only changed my pants into jeans and cover my baby-t with Elle jumper yg amat nipis. haruslah aku menggigil smpi terketar2 gigi. what's worst is tht skrg ni aku kuar suke2 je x pkai tebal2.omputih pn berlapis2. nmpk sgt perasan kental.
- i should be sleeping by now. but i'm not.
- i should not be blogging. but i am!!!

so? salah siapa bila idup dirasakan miserable? salah aku la kan sbb x sedar diri =p

cognitive overload

ne no ne no ne no~~~!!!! bunyik siren ambulance.haahahahha. aku ngah kronik niiii. since smlm lg aku dh kronik thp kemaruk keromok momok sume. i stayed at uni since morning until nite smlm. since the sun had just turned up smpi la matahari dh ilang lame bru aku blk. tp end product nye amat la mendukacitakan.aku pn tatau aku watpe.

rini plak? huuuuu. x abis pn lg ok wat lesson plans utk maths. kne ade 5 lesson plans siap nk kne generate task sheets, handouts, activities la materials tah ape2 lagi. itu sumer sudah cukup utk wat aku saiko x mkn nasik. tp rini off task je lebih. td siap kuar g kedai vietnam kt lorong umh aku lg. feel like home okey kedai tu. as usual laaa. aku bli pocky rocky. alaaa. strawberry sticks kalini sje nk try brand lain. harga sme tp kotak lg besar. tp huaaaaaa. x shodap cm pocky rocky!!! nyesal nyesal. then siap bli asam lg. preserved berry. alaaa. yg kalo kt msia yg kaler purple ade gula tuuuu. byk jual kt kedai cina xpun kt psr mlm. tu feveret aku tauu. td jmpe kt asian market kedai minah vietnam tu so aku bli laaa. tu pn abis berdolar2 gak aku. aiyooo. finance2. mmg x reti nk control. bru smlm kne sound ngn my mom sbb boros lapar laaa... nk mkn asam. nk mkn pocky rocky. suke junk food. huaaaa. nk bli bju. tp smlm 2 kali singgah valley girl n few times msuk fitting room still gak x jmpe bju. hua!!! minggu ni x bli bju pun lg. cmne? kewajipan diabaikan. xleh jd ni. hukkkkkk....

oit aku saiko ok. amat ni haaaa. asgmt thp xleh nk tolerate. cuti bile eh? ishhhhhh!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008


life has been so tiring n stressful nowadays as the assignments are all demanding to be done. despite of congesting my mind with only assignments, this brain keeps on processing the data of other things else. have u ever known that to make others smile and talk nicely to you, sacrifice might be the only way that u can do? by any means, people might think that you're lying or being hypocrite upon representing the real you. however, in certain cases, people just couldn't digest the truth that you have already revealed. the visual that you play to them might not express the feelings u really feel inside. pulling a smile and throwing laughters have never been an assurance that ones is happy.

life is always about expect the unexpected. nothing in this world have been promising even the chance of winning and receiving seems to be clear at the very beginning.

actually i'm so stressed out right now. am cracking my brain. assignments!!! why can't u just leave me alone? hurmmm... =(

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

back to normal

hehe. now i'm back to normal. no more gedik2. "gedixo adrenaline hormone" shows a great decrease in its performance. if u imagine the hormone is being scaled by a machine, u'll see the level is significantly going down very rapidly and produces the sound of "beep beeep beeeep~~~~". a sign of death. haha.

i'm now safely in healthy piece of mind sitting in this cramped computer lab of my uni main campus. am getting my ass back to face these killing assignments. the due dates are all approaching and i'm getting to feel the tense as i haven't yet started on anything. here's the list of what i shall be doing within these few days:

- 26th/29th May 2008: 10minutes oral presentation on the Field Experience of School Visits. Critically identify relevant educational topics with rational reflection based on theoretical analysis. (still having no particular topic chosen as Erika will only discuss about this tomorrow. the date of presentation has not yet been determined as the session last week was canceled).

- 28th May 2008: A unit of work for Excursions in Mathematical Reasoning. 5 lesson plans and materials for class display. (i will have to develop 5 lesson plans with logical activities included and generate concrete materials for display. i still haven't had brilliant ideas for this).

- 2nd June 2008: Field Experience Portfolio. A compilation of experience (journals), activities and materials that I have collected so far during the last 6 school visits. (i need to work on writing the diaries for 6 visits which therefore, i need to freeze my nerves on blogging for a moment).

- 3rd June 2008: Criterion-Referenced language assessment task. (60%). The most stressful assignment as i'm not used to this. hence the lecturer is too perfectionist which makes it harder for me to satisfy the marking criteria).

- 3rd June 20008: Descriptive/Reflective Paper. (i will have to write as much as i like, free writing. about my current achievement in teaching pedagogy. of what i feel and hope to achieve. together with relevant analysis based on theories).

see. i've told ya that the assignments are killing me. i shall ask for not to have any emotional disturbance as i don't wanna have a shaky mind while working on my assignments. if u know me well, i can't work with imbalance mind and emotion. so better watch out. ;p

wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


recently my "gedixo adrenaline hormone" shows quite a great increase in its level. let me proceed this in malay please as the impact is greater. haha =p
pagi td ngn sejuk menggigil tahap gabannye aku bgun subuh n tdo blk kejap sbb nk kne g clas. ngn niat jahat di hati nk ponteng clas, aku duk pkir dlm hati. nak pegi ke taknak klas Lynette (lecturer second bosan penah aku jumpe). last2 aku bangun gak ngn menggigilnye n mndi. name pun org melayu kan. haruslah aku mndi nk g clas even sejuk cmne pun. so far record aku skali je x mndi g klas. tu pun mse kne g school visit last year n aku mmg overslept. time tu kalo aku mndi alamatnye terlepas bus la aku nk g Bulimba State School yg jauh d pedalaman tu. hahah. so pgi td pas mndi aku still gak xde mood nk g clas. smpai la naik bus.... jeng jeng jenggggggggg. bus pagi td agak penuh so mase mendaki tangga bus, aku dh putus harapan dah utk dpt seat sbb cm penuh je. skali ade la few empty seats and mata aku pun berubah menjadi GPRS utk mengesan di manakah harus aku landing kan diri yg amat hopeless mengantuk ini. skali ade satu empty seat yg sbelahnye adelah lelaki yang amat kacak. aku stress kat sini. AMAT KACAK!!! hahaha. so aku pun berbunga riang duduk sbelah lelaki kacak n smbil2 tu sempat lagi aku kawal kembangan idung aku demi meng'control' keayuan ku. wahahahah.

few minutes later bus stopped kt Cultural Centre n aku pun turun sbb nk kne tukar bus. lelaki kacak tu pun turun gak. so mata aku x lepas2 la memandang lelaki kacak itu smpi ilang dr pandangan mata. time tu aku duk menggigil sejuk smbil duduk atas kerusi besi cap ais n sebelah aku adalah rakan ku sendiri iaitu Awan. lalu aku pun meluahkan perasaan aku kt Awan n Jannah yg pada masa itu setia bersama ku di kerusi sejuk. aku ckp kt Awan ngn suara yg agak kuat sbb aku terlupa nk slow down. haha. "Awan. ensem laaaa laki sbelah aku td. gila kacak. hahahha. u know what?
I like living in Australia. There're a lot of cute guys". tanpa aku sedari makcik omputih yg berdiri di depan aku dengar n pahammmmmmm. sbb aku ckp omputih. Awan yg pd masa itu malu utk mengaku aku sbgai kwn sndri and org senegara, beralih kedudukan ke kerusi sebelah bersama Akran n Ayie. haihhhhh. salahkah aku menjadikan lelaki kacak n cute sbagai motivation utk aku pegi clas d pagi2 sejuk? salahkah??? haahahah.

gediks. xoxo ;p

Sunday, May 18, 2008

how much i miss Rizq

last night i called back home n had a small talk with Rizq. Rizq is my nephew. my only nephew so far. btw, when i left him early of this year, he wasn't yet able to converse. however, as few months past by, he's now gradually in the process of acquiring the language.

me: hello Rizq!! buat apa tu?

Rizq: ello. Ateh. watpaaa

me: Rizq mkn dah ka?

Rizq: akan. i lebiu atehhhh

me: hehehe. i love u too~~ Rizq nk pi mana tu ngan mama n papa?

Rizq: akan oeuteowwwww. sedapppp. ateh sedapppppppp

me: ya ya Ateh tau sedapp. makan byk2 tauuu.

Rizq: sedappp. sedapppppppp. bye Ateh. lebiuuuu

me: bye2 Rizq!!! i love u too~~

huh? korang paham x? haha. xde... Ateh tu aku la. Rizq panggil aku Ateh. smlm Rizq ngn mama n papa die nk g mkn char koewteow. so die gitau laaa aku. kunun nk bgi aku jeles la tuuu. tp xpe. x jeles punnn. sbb sini ade je jual char koewteow. tp aku jeles satu je. aku nk Rizq ade ngn aku. haihhh. saiko lak nk anak org. hehe. xdelaaa. aku sayang Rizq ok. amat. n i miss him so muchhh. aku mmg suke budak2. tp since Rizq is my nephew, n the only budak kecik dlm family kitorang wat mse skrg, so that's why i heart him so much tu. Rizq!!! Ateh rindu banget sama kamu~~~

p/s: time duk ckp ngn Rizq tu adik aku Nani ade kt blkg Rizq duk ajar die ckp. tu psl elok je Rizq ckp. idak die mane reti sgt ckp phone. tau cakap 'elo' je. hehe.

aku sangap

haha. yea yea i know. gedik kan aku duk ckp psl boipren. padahal xde pun. alaaaaa. sje je aku ngah syok ngade2. beselaaaaa. gedik pun namenye. heheheh. ni Jan kt bilik aku. duk karaoke sorang2 lak minah ni. nmpk sgt off task smbil buat keje Lynette (si lecturer saiko). Jan smbil melalak smbil tulis blog. aku lak??? haruslah off task!!! lg off task dari Jan since aku lgsg x check mail update mende nk kne buat. lgsg x bukak QUT blackboard tgk readings or ape2 announcement. aku lgsg x buat ape la bley dikatakan. x kan x bace kot post aku yg before2 this yg mana aku telah mengatakan, aku amat ingin cuti musim sejuk cepat menjelma. amat inginnnnnnnnn. hehe. eh btw, arini sejuk banget. nk terbang aku ditiup angin. so apekah maksud sebalik? wajiblah aku menggemukkan badan lg so that i wont be blown by d wind n kalo gemuk lemak2 leh protect aku dr sejuk. baru besh kan? tp cmne nk gemuk? mkn byk pn naik ciput je. aiyooooo. aku pening dah psl cmne nk ksi gemuk. ade kwn aku tny.apsal la blog aku cm xde org je jenguk? mmg laaa. kan aku dh gitau awal lg. aku bukan suke sgt org rmai2 menempek kt sini. aku suke yg rapat2 je. before this aku x publish pun blog aku. x gitau sape2 pun. recently je aku heboh skit tu pun sbb amnah, asyi n ezat duk wat announcement tentang kemunculan blog diorang yg kununnye mantap meletop. so aku pn hebohkan lah gakkkk. tp kt diorang gak pun yg aku heboh. so x ke mana gak laaaaa. actually i'd used to post my entries all in english. tp since aku byk sgt duk bce blog org last2 aku tertulis in malay jugakkk. tp xpe je.aku x kisah. aku sayang bahasa melayu. aku kan pompuan melayuuuu asli. haruslah bahasa jiwa bangsa.aku bukanlah jenis yg buat statement, "english is like my mother tongue". hahahah. oooooooopppppssss. aku bermulut jahat lak mlm ni. xpe2. nnti aku wat mulut baik k? hahaha. amat hippopotamus. muahahahaha.

owh... btw i've never known that Sufi and Ida are also blogging. eventho they're not posting as frequently as i do, yet they do blogging. i'd just discovered this when yesterday we were in Unilodge and i was adding up Zaim and Acan in my bloggers' list. then Sue ckp, "Fat, aku ade blog". pastu Ida lak, aku nk sign in blogspot account aku guna laptop Ida, tp termasuk Ida nye account. so aku taulaa pompuan2 ayu menawan tu ade blog. n to my surprise, actually both of my sweet little girls were inspired by me to start blogging. they mentioned that they found blog as one of the best mediums to express their feelings. hehe. with widely open arms, i welcome them to this unrestricted world. cewahhhh. ye ye je aku. haha


Again, i've been tagged by Firus. jawab Fath, jawab!!!

: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- No, i don't. I rather know the real colour of that guy first before i fall.idak nmpk sgt la fall for his physical attributes je. muke ensem bukan leh caye sgt. playboy x psl je. eeiii

2. Do you eat without brushing your teeth?
- sometimes in the morning. coz i've heard from my friend who's her bro is a dentist, told me that u've already brushed ur teeth before u hit d bed, so u dun have to brush ur teeth before u have ur breakfast. coz the important thing is that u brush ur teeth after u eat. however, i usually brush my teeth first before i have my breakfast. besela kdg2 off task. name pun manusia. haha;p

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
- hurmmmmm.... France. hehe. reason? sbb aku nk ade cite cinta romantic. ye ye aku poyo =p

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- ish genie mane la kedekut sgt ni? satu je? 100 xleh ke? heheh. gile tamak. hurmmmm... can i wish for a true love to come? euuuwwww.... so corny. yelaaaa. org xde bf biarla kan? haha

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- yea i do. mcm pepatah melayu la, berusah2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian. so the same goes here. if u want ur life to be as colourful as the rainbow does, u'll have to travel those thorny roads dulu. it's like, if u wanna have a good life with a good career, u'll need to struggle with ur study. to find d right guy, u'll have to meet n face few bad guys first. so, berimas2 lah dahulu kamu bersama hujan before u can see the beautiful reflection. hehe ;p

6. Do you like being who you are today?
- definitely YES!!! i like being me as i would never imagine being someone else. best wooo jadi Siti Nor Fathiah Zulkafli. even x kaya, x cantik, tp aku suke je. =)

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- i'll be happier of course~~~ i will first buy a new house n car to my parents n send them to Mecca as they are waiting to go there again. kasi sikit kat siblings esp to my sis n bro yg still stdy. i'll buy myself a car, house, clothes, shoes, handphone, n macam2 lg laaaa. n i'll donate some to the orphanage houses n oldfolks. n save some in my savings. if i'm good enough, i would like to invest in any business. hoho. ye ye je aku. kne tipu x psl je =p

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- never. malu laaaaa. ingat aku gila2 cmni xtau malu ke. malu okessss... =p

9. Who are the top five people in the world you would wish to meet?
- family comes first. n the rest... hurmmm... let it be a secret. wink wink ;p

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- someone who can complete the incomplete me. nk yg:
- baik sbb aku x baik.
- ensem sbb aku x cun
- alim skit sbb aku x alim
- tinggi dr aku sbb aku x tinggi

11. Which type of cars I love the most?
- yg comel n cute. ishhhh... sounds gediks ke? lantak la. haha. u can get my answer from the previous tag.

12. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or a kiss?
- both. ngengenge. lust or love? how can we differentiate them? hurmmm... i hate him who follows his lust more than love. i need someone who sees me even when i'm not pretty, even when i'm not sexy, even when i have nothing. cewahhhhh. cam pretty n sexy je aku. bluekkkk muntah =p

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
- If i'm at guilt, u don't have to tell me. i'll definitely apologize. but an imperfect creation i am, so i reckon there will be sometimes when i just don't know that what i do is wrong. so u're allowed to poke me n i'll wake up.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- every single breath at every single second =)

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
- i draw money illogically, i slice card intentionally. it's yours to place the judgment.

16. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most?
- undoubtedly, my laptop. only with unlimited internet connection. n yeahhh.. speedy speed please. hehe

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- i can't agree more with Firus. i would rather be more affirmative, which therefore the hiccup will eventually bid its goodbye.

18. What makes you feel disappointed?
- when heart is smashed to its smallest bit.

19. If given a chance, do you want to see your future?
- better not as i don't want to abnormal.

20. If u can put yourself under the knife of surgery, which part of your body will u wish to change?
- huhu. secret secret. xnak cakap =p

I hereby tag...
1. amnah
2. syira poyoyos
3. sufi
4. jannah
5. ida
6. ezat
7. fahizha
8. zaim

sighhhh... penat okes jwb mende ni.

haphazardly updating

it's been 3 days since my last update. i went for a sleepover at ida + jan's crib at Unilodge together with Sue. btw, ida n Jan had been spending few days over with me and Sue in Westend. so in return, we spent our days at their crib. we're all supposed to be occupied with assigments but the four of us just don't feel like doing which make us wasting our time with movies and shoppings. i guess we're all really enjoying the moment together and will always treasure this friendship forever. =)

actually there're so many things which i'd like to share. but it will need extra time and pages for me to express them all. so i guess let just give the way to these photos. btw, a photo means a thousand words kan? so here u go =)

jelitawan2 Brissy yg ayu lg meletop. kebabom!!! hohohoho =p

all of us. cayang kamooo sumer. (gedix lak aku rase.haha)

i dunno why. tp aku rse cm gemuk je aku dlm gmbor ni. yeayyy!! aku suke ekceli.haha

kan besh kalo tmpt Zaim tu ganti ngn boipren?tp aku xde boipren lg.ape mksudnye?cpt2 carik sorang ke?hahaha.gatal!!!!