Wednesday, January 23, 2008

MATURITY: "PAINLESS REMARKS, PAINFUL DEEDS"

It's almost 6 in d evening. I've just finished reading an article of Bicara Agama in online Utusan. I've just saying goodbye to my sunshine Rizq Azfar who came back with my bro n sis in law. I've just kissed goodbye to 5month Hanan Najla who came with her grandma asking me to babysit her tomorrow morning. Still, I can remember my friends' back talk just now in YM. I chatted with Amnah n Suhaily helping them to download few songs. Whilst, we were talking bout other things.

With Amnah: talking bout fake personality. I told her.."hurmmm..so far aku x fake lg la.but then who knows mb in d future I might turn out to b a faker. manusia sering berubah mcm tu jugak aku. aku xnak buat statement sbb aku tatau apa yg ada d hadapan".

With suhaily: sue asked me whether i found someone special in aussie. I replied: "hurmmmm..xpn. tahla sue aku x pkir sgt. kalo ada jodoh aku, ada rezeki aku then adala..aku serahkan sume pn kt Allah".

Those two answers of mine had given me a definite same answer..."Fath!ko dh mature. is that u? feel like talking to someone else". Of course that was me. Kaklong Ita has already noticed this long time before which was last year. It's just tht I seldom activate my seriouse mode. When I think that there's a need to be serious, then I'll b as how i should be. Like Amnah said, "u'r more mature when it comes to advice".

Indeed, I've changed. Personally, i think that i'm now better compared to before. I took it seriously when I'd been criticised by someone saying that I'm too childish. Yerp...I was. That's why I learned how to become a mature person. Throughout my journey I found that realizing your responsibility is the main key of bringing u up as a worthy human being.

I realize my main responsibility as a servant of the Most Merciful. I realize my responsibility as a daughter, grandaughter, sister, friend, student, teacher, as well as a woman. (hurmmm. am I yet a woman? no!!! can I stay put as a girl? of course not. hohoh). =p

Even I knw my responsibility, it's not enough to make me a mature person. Personally, I dont think that I'm yet as mature as a ripe reddish mango which is ready to be plucked. Maybe I'm more mature than previous, but not yet enough.

What make u a mature person after u knw ur responsibility? remarks and deeds.
From the words u say people may know the art of your thinking. How sharp u're in observing, how legitimate u're in evaluating n how accurate u're in judging. Yet, have u ever crossed the idea that, it's easy to say but hard to response? hurmmmm. That's when deeds are justified. I think that I am now one step forward standing on the platform of quite mature with my remarks but still immature in my actions. I can evenly giving advice to my friends and handing them the warmest words to calm down, but have I ever done those things that I used to say?

Adequately considering someone as mature is from his/her remarks n deeds which indirectly lead u to his/her thinking. So, I'm just halfway to it. Macam org slalu kata, cakap mmg sng, nak buatnya susah. It applies on me. But I refuse to stay with what I am now. I want to improve. I might be better in next year, or maybe in next month, or maybe tomorrow. We never know and we might not realize that we're actually have already changed, until others notice it first.

Pen off... =)