Wednesday, January 2, 2008

why does tht it's hard 2 forgive?

i've never said that i wont forgive n i've never said that i wont forget.i used 2 forgive but i couldnt forget which made me think it back.i took those innocent words back since they seemed to be unappreciated.i forgive it if there's nothing to do with number 3 but if there's something to do with that number,i totally despise u from this holy soul of mine.

2007 has taught me lotsa lessons which cant b bought with money,but only with tears and's a year where i stepped my feet on an alien's a year where i learned that promises can be's a year where i learned that love means's a year where i learned that bruises cannot be's a year where i learned that family cannot be's a year where i learned that friends are's a year where i learned that dignity can just be slipped under the feet of those who are evils and it's a year where i've grown to be d present me...

goodbye 2007...n welcome 2008... i hope to be stronger n wish that my only wish will come true even i know that it's totally ridiculous n i know that it's totally wrong n will break almost every heart in this i being selfish?i think i'm not as i used to only think of others n neglected my body n soul.i think it's time for me to regain..back as d cheery me...i miss u sunshine... =')


Tuesday, January 1, 2008


it's new year.2008.hurmmmm.eveybody keep sending new year wish which hope tht dream will come true.

but i've been thinking.wht's d thing tht i'm dreaming most to hve?nothing.....i'm not aiming for anything.tht's wht i told one of my friends who wished me. but is it true tht there's nothing tht i'm wishing for?hurmmmmmmm.let me think =p

actually there're so many things tht i wish to have n to happen.i'm a human.HUMAN which is an ordinary creature of Allah will never satisfy with what they have. they want more than what's been given. d same goes to me. i'm now happy with my life. i have my sweet lovely family. i love my parents, my grandma, my siblings, my in law n my nephew. i have my own studies n i'm doing very fine in it. i have my own career for this while during my holiday as a student. i have my own income. so wht else do i want more? huhuhuhu.... i want a piece of peaceful heart...

i realize tht sometimes my emotion is not so stable. i'm easily disturbed by my past. i cannot hold my pressure n i'm easily break down. i realized this when 1 day i had a problem with my work. tht day i was on standby since 9am-10pm. 13hours working is a very terrific period in my life i consider. tht afternoon i had 2 take over this one class. kid's counselling class. it was tough for me to handle the kids becuase for kid's counselling the children vary from ages. some of them are just 5 years old, some are big enough to b obedient as they're 10 n 11 years old. in tht clas the teacher is supposed to give exercises 2 d students. yet, they're in different ages n different abilites so i had to write down on board 2 types of exercises in one time. the class was also hard 2 b controlled as the small kids were whirling n didnt want to do their work.

when i was busy assiting all d kids with their exercise, 1 of d small kids came n ask me a permission 2 go n drink water. another 1 came n asked me to go out 2 d toilet. i allowed them to go n after tht the admin staffs came 2 my class reporting tht my stdnts had fought in front of d toilet by pouring hot water.1 of them were injured n as a teacher i felt sooooooo bad about tht. luckily the parents didnt accuse me for tht as they understood tht it was their children's mistake.but i still feel bad bout tht..i would have happened if i were alert...

then on d same day but at night...
i was releasing the "elementary conversation" class with the teenagers. the class was ok. we were enjoying our topic of discussion. when the clas was about 2 finish in another 15minutes, my boss came inside n gave a an "EG3" book(advance english grammar for level 3). he asked me to take over tht class for d next slot. i was quite nervous as i didnt prepare anythng to teach tht EG3 class. i told my boss tht i cannot teach EG3 but he rejected my request by saying tht i'm capable of doing so since i'm a teslian. hello~~!!!!i'm a student not yet a teacher n u'r giving me a leacturer job!!!how could i deal with tht. yet i tried to teach. i told the stdnts tht i will try as i didnt prepare. but can u imagine??? (the stdnts are those whoe are competent enough in english. they are working people. they're businessmen n businesswomen who come to improve their grammar to deal with customers). then half of d way i broke down. i was being disturbed by d afternoon case, n d fact tht i've been spending 12 hours working had made me stressed. i walked out from d class n told my boss tht i couldnt go on. then i switched with another lecturer n i took over her class which was "intermediate conversation". i did ok in tht class even i were not too focus as i knw d stdnts n they're more like friends to me. (intermediate stdnts r considered as d best stdnts in tht centre since they're already competent in english). then after the working hour i met my boss n i was badly broke down tht time. i told him tht he shouldnt do tht to me n bla bla bla.hahahahha. gile melawan.

but tht's when i realize..when i have a problem i will mix it with my other black dots in d past. tht's y my wish for this year is tht...i hope to have a peaceful tht i can draw my sweetest smile again... if i have one lol..... hahahaha =)

1st post in malaysia!!!

huhuhuhu.dear diary i'm sorry for leaving u too long.i've been very busy keeping up with my life.i dun wanna let it be like how it was before.i dun wanna live as a time waster anymore.i wanna be a more mature girl with a clear aim in my life.i'm happy to say tht i'm building up my career.collecting experience n money as is more meaningful.

things tht i've been through along this while:-
1. came back from currently in malaysia. on my way back aussie-msia i stopped in taiwan.did some shopping there.taiwan is a great place as the people are warm n friendly.wish to be there again.gonna be there again on d way bck to aussie but it will just b for 3-4 hours.x ckup la kot nk kuar.lepak dlm airport jela jwbnye.hehehehhe =p

2. my arrival in malaysia had been waited by my best buddies in high school.terharunye!!!!werex n syima were waiting for me at klia together with werex's bf.i spent my whole day n nite in kl with them.we went to the curve,the street,catced up with the latest movie tht time "beawolf" but i slept halfway.penat dowhhhhhh.sape x jetlag.dh la d day before tu dh 9hrs n 30mins dlm flight.then smpi2 taiwan spent d whole nite lak shopping kt shinglin nite market.then td 4hrs flight taiwan-kl.mati seyhhhh....then after tgk mvie we went to eat my favourite meal!!!KENNY ROGERS!!!!betapa aku mengidam kenny cm org last dpt gak aku mkn cheese macaroni yg shodap yg lame tlah kutinggalkan.besttttt~~~yummy~~then we walked around pastu mlm g putrajaya.lepak2 smbil menggilakan diri bkk blk cite lame mse skolah.klaka hell.kalo ade esah ngn amar sure lg gempak.hehehehhehehe.then bfore blk upm iaitu hotel yg telah disediakan oleh werex utk aku n syima,we stopped to hve dnner or i can say supper,kt somewhere in bangi.then blk uniten housemates werex lak dtg beramah mesra smpi aku yg penat nk mati ni pn x tido2 duk sronok dgr citer2 lawak was d first time i met medic students who'r not skematik.idak bfore this bdk2 medic sume xleh blah.hahahahhaha.then d next morning they sent me to klia n i took my flight bck to penang.

3. hepinye jumpe familia!!!!!!!!!!i landed my feet at home on d 18th of nov but then esknye 19th nov i straight away went out for work.i was lucky.only with d first interview i had been offered as an english lecturer in cambridge language centre.d pay being offered was quite good but i never had d thought tht it snatched my entire time with family.huaaaaaaaa!!!i was working like a robot.days n nights until i didnt have time to spend with my family.can u imagine everyday i went to d office to punch in at 1pm.then i had class at 2.30-5.30.then i took my rest.went bck home for a while to hve tea time with my parents.then i went bck to work as i had classes from d time i arrive home,everybody must had eaten their dinner.tht's not including my 2full days where i had 2 work frm 9 in d morning until 10 at nite.gilerrrrrrr!!!!mati aku tau.

4. managed to get 1 week leave.went to langkawi with my family.lame giler dh x g holiday sesama.before this abgcik stdy kt japan.kiranya holiday bru2 ni is d first holiday after 7years x holiday same.n this time ade kak kakak ipar which can b considered as a new fmly member la kn.n fmly kak razia pn join wonderful it was eventho we went there only for a short period.

5. tot of resigning dh smlm.tot tht yesterday was d last day in tht centre.but right after i finish my last class,my boss offered me a better position with better pay.less work n better pay.sape i'm a part timer there.being paid by hours.n wht can i say is payment now is almost double d price!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahhahahahahahahhaha.n now i hve more time with family.more money.sape x hepi beb~~ =p

those are all d things u should catch up.bye~~~

-hepi new year-