Monday, October 29, 2007

from TRUST.. there comes the FREEDOM

i've just finished YM-ing with one of my friends. she's having a problem with her bf. d problem is not current to my ears as it's already familiarized to me as well as to my other friends. my friend is being controlled by her bf n d controlling is ridiculous. is it relevant to be asked for not to put on make up unless it's only for the eyes of her bf? yea i know tht in Islam, women shouldn't have put on make up except for her husband. but my friend's bf is just a bf. not a husband. he doesnt has d right to ask my friend to do that. n..is it relevant for asking my friend not to go to (there is a place somewhere in NZ) just because the bf doesnt want she to? hey..why cant my friend go to that place? she also has to enjoy herself after all d hardship of stdying for the whole year. n d most ridiculous thing that i cant accept is that..the bf doesnt allow my friend to go for a shop n even to attend a party. wtf?? is it wrong to attend a friend's brthday party n i believe tht the party is still proper in manner since it's my malay friend's birthday prty. there's nothing wrong even if u go to an improper event as long as u dont do what is wrong.

my friends n i had already knew that it's best for my poor friend to just break up with her bf. but we'd nver suggested it to her as we think that it's her right to make a decision. until just now, my friend came to me n told me that she thinks she wants to put an end to her relationship. she said dat she cant stand it anymore. she's been mentally tortured with all dat sh*ts. i didnt encouraged her by straight away saying a yes u should break up. yet, i told her to gain her bf's trust. coz i believe that from trust, she'll get d freedom. it wasnt d first time i asked my friend to say that to her bf. my friend had already told that to her bf but the bf still couldnt tolerate more. he said that he has all d power n my friend is his right. so, my friend has to follow everythng he says. n what makes it worse is that, the bf told my friend that he wont change. this is wht he is. he wants to take control of everythng. n if they are to break up, the bf will have a revenge on my friend n will keep hunting her. my~~!! i cant imagine how will my friend survive if she is to live with tht guy for the rest of her life.

actually i was quite pissed off with my friend because she is not certain with her mind. she's not firm enough. at first she said that she wants to break up. suddenly she said that she cant run away frm her bf as her bf is threatening her to tell &*%$$^&#@%&&*(((^%&(&*** to my friend's family. n suddenly my friend told me that she doesnt want to let her bf live alone n she wants to be by his side no matter what. argggggghhh~~!! that's so ridiculous.

how can u live with someone who is dare to threat u? how can u live with someone who doesnt even respect ur right n freedom? how can u live with someone who cannot tolerate n doesnt want to listen to wht u want? do u think dat u can live ur life happily if these are wht u have 2 face?

loving someone is not to have revenge on his/her after d relationship is ended. even the other party has ruined our life n has stabbed our heart to death, yet, d fact dat we love him/her will not make us hate him/her. even we cant be with him/her, we can still pray for his/her best of blast. n about the love matter, u have d right either to keep the love or let it fade away.

wake up. i knw it's tough for u to move on alone after this. but i've faced it. it's not that bad to be single. as time goes by u'll understand it n knw wht's d best for u. we still hve time to reflect on d past n build d future. it doesnt matter if d future has no figure of a guy. we women can still live on our own. as long as we bring our mind together with us in anythng we do.

think it this way..to love someone is not only by saying "i love u" every day n night. but it's the matter of how u tolerate between one another, how u trust each other n how u respect other's right n mind. b mature. long distance rltnshp wont work if u dont believe in ur bf/gf. loyalty n honesty are wasted if u dont trust each other. gain d trust n freedom will come. =)

what a psycho day yesterday =p

yesterday mrning when d energy was at its risk level, i woke up n wash up for d sake of going bck 2 d unilodge's public kitchen 2 heat up all d meals dat we'd already prepared d night before. ok. 2 mke u clear, d night bfore ystrday my friends n i were busy preparing raya meals for d open house of d brisbane business council. we worked 2gther from early in d morning until late midnight. went out 2 buy all d materials n stayed up at d kitchen struggling 2 stand still cooking d meals. i was quite impressed with wht we've done since we managed 2 cook variety of meals which were for 100 people. n to my surprise, i had succeeded preparing d flour for roti jala n kuih ketayap, making d inti for d kuih ketayap, cooking d sambal ikn bilis n kuah lontong in dat big amount which i havent yet done before. ok. ignore bout d cooking thingy. let's move on 2 d story of ystrday.

ystrday, on our way to Middle Park, the house of the president for d business council, Mr. Keong, we rode on d bus which took we about an hour to arrive 2 d destination. on our way down there, as d boredom were girdling d mind n emotion, d 4 of us, jan, ida, sue n i were talking happily until suddenly, there was a lady's voice echoing in d bus. we shut d fuck up n tried to figure where's d voice came frm. i kept looking up at d bus's ceiling since i thought tht it was an annoucement n it must b frm d speaker. but d voice wasnt clear. i kept asking my friends "ape wei ape?, apsal korang diam? ape? awat? apa dia?" since they were all suddenly activated their silent mode. my position which was in front of them made me turn my head to d bck 2 speak to them, without i realized that we [especially me] were being scolded by a granny who was sitting in d front seat. honestly from my seat i couldnt see d psycho old lady since there was a divider separating the back side of the bus [which is higher] from d front side of the bus [which is lower]. when i realized that there was an old granny seemed like speaking 2 us with a very vague voice, i asked my friends "ape wei?" n it made d granny became more heated as she thought that i was talking back 2 her in my language. owh my. if i were to rewind that scene, definitely i were to blush in an embarrassment. d old lady had harshly thrown d words "shit, shame on u, n etc" showing her anger towards us as her face were facing on me. haihhhhh. i dont knw how 2 tell this in words but this is wht i got for being too blur n deaf. how could i realized that the old lady were talking to us [esp me] when i hardly see her and not notably heard her voice?

i believe that the old lady was practicing a racism on us. i admit that mb we were quite loud in d bus but she shouldn't hve thrown those vulgar words on us.

yet, when the bus stopped at the front of an old folk home in Mount Ommaney and the old lady went out frm d bus, dragged her old feet down d street towards that elderly area , i changed my perception on her. mb she was in tense, being left in that home alone with the other old folks. mb her emotion was being disturbed by her children's attitude who had disspointed her by sending her there. mb she misses her children so much which made her couldnt control her emotion n thinking and released her tense on us. there're so many possibilities which made her acted that way.

since she's older than me, respecting her, i decided not to hve any heart feeling. the incident happened in d bus have made me aware with the surrounding which i am an outsider in other's land. i need to be more sensitive towards other culture n norm. it's not malaysia where we're free to laugh n giggle in front of public. it's australia where privacy is d main priority. people are reading even when d bus is moving. so... u better shut d fuck up n listen 2 d music. lesson learnt. hehehe =p