Friday, July 27, 2007

miSsinG mY mEmoRy bLue bOx...




i miss my stuffs bck in malaysia. all my personal stuffs. but what i really long for is my secret memory blue box. i bought that box just for only rm12 n i really adore it even until now.i like d colours, painted wit blue as d layout n drawn with rainbow n cloulds together with stars.

the box really resembles the meaning that i want it 2 b associated wit as it is filled wit all my memories. n zoom in at the word "dreams". symbolic rite?hehhehehe. n d funky striking colours of the box symbolizes wat i really want 2 achieve in life which is happiness. i thrown evrythng dat i like in dat box n kept it safely with me, yet...i left it wit sumone bck in msia..i wanna take it back.i really want it bck as remembering it now just giving me pain.

i bought a quilt cover which is d same colurs wit d box so dat i can imagine myself sleeping in it. yet the quilt cover is slightly dfferent in design as it's being painted by having heart (love) shapes on it with leaves.n ahha~~there r butterflies on it too. i knw dat i can buy a new box which is prettier than my old box..n mb with a more advance in its security system like having padlock or pin code, still i dun wanna hve a new one.i want my old box.i really want i n dammit it's with sumone else aite now.i wonder what's happening 2 my lil cute box.what's its condition?hurhhhhhh.i wanna it bck.i'll ask for it.i will....


Thursday, July 26, 2007

eMptiNesS

26/07/07 22:27
it's been quite a long while since i last posted my blog.yet it was in another page of site dat provided by friendster service.it's not that i lost interest in writing nor i'd no story 2 tell.but it's just that i felt like i lost my words.i'm still feeling it rite now.i found myself as clueless...n my life is empty...

in my brain, i can feel that the flood is heavier.my mind keeps on calling the memory for over these past few yrs.i'm reflecting the whole journey of my life; since a small lil child named baby, to the young adult named the present me. enduring the long way of 21 yrs n 6 mths of life has really taught me a bundle of lessons. picturing myself in the past few yrs when i was still in high school has really made me smile n laugh. i used 2 b a very blissful youngster who njoyed evry single moment of her life with family and frens. she cherished all the respect, love, and companion frm all the bodies around her. she'd never bother about the feeling called love between girls n boys.she used to has a crush, threating the feeling of liking someone n be liked by someone, yet she let the feeling drifted away as she found that it was not the time yet.she used 2 consume the hearts of few guys who said d word love 2 her as she thought that love is not sth 2 play with.sth which u cant treasure in the early stage of life. n she was then leading her life alone with only her family n frens. but it was the greatest time in her life since she'd nver wasted her tears just for a tiny silly thng. as she alwys chose 2 b single.

her life started 2 change when she was blessed with a love frm her loved one. at that moment she really thought that it was her real love. the true love that she's been longing for. n she accepted that one 2 b the king of her heart. d couple early moment had been the most happiest time in her life since she got all the attention n warmths that she'd nver received. yet evrythng started 2 misleading...(sorry i cant tell u more on this part)..what i can cmment on it is that..i was not myself on that time as all the joy in me had been pushed away frm me..n no matter how hard i tried 2 juggle them bck in me, i failed...

now i'm totally holding d title single n i'm in d process of buildng d real me. i wanna my frens 2 hve me bck as d old me who was fun 2 b with, who cared for all her friends, who knew what's d best approach 2 b used in calming other's misery air, n who had the simplest thought in dealing wit anythng.i dun wanna b empty no more..i wanna b filled wit value..

d empty me..colourless n dull.i wanna jump onto d rainbow n paint myself colourful.grant my wish..my Lord.. =)